In the last few years of our marriage, my estranged spouse would remark about how old we were getting (late 40’s) and how the older he got, the less willing he was to change or try new things. I kept quiet, but I felt just the opposite.
I wanted to read different authors and genres of books, try new recipes, eat food from different cuisines (India! East Africa!), and have new experiences. For me, getting into middle age meant actively seeking things I’d put off because the kids were too young, or we were too busy, or it was too expensive, or we had other responsibilities, or, or, or. He resisted every change I suggested or embraced.
The unexpected benefit of ES’s leaving is that I don’t have to stay quiet and stuck about my desire to have new experiences. There’s always a reason not to try something new; I want to find the reasons to try new things. Now I can indulge my curiosity. I can cook new recipes, even the ones with tomatoes and potatoes that he complained about and refused to eat. I can take my kids to the farmer’s market and encourage them to pick new fruits and vegetables. Just talking to the farmers is a unique experience for my city kids.
I’m ashamed of how much I let someone else dictate my options. But I’m taking myself back and exploring whatever strikes my fancy now. It’s liberating. I wake up a little excited every day, even the busy drive-the-kids-all-over-creation days.
What are you curious to try? What’s holding you back?
- Curiosity killed the cat, but what kills curiosity? (fall12advancedreporting.wordpress.com)
- Curiosity doesn’t kill (elezea.com)
- 6 Things Cat Owners Dare Not Think About (catster.com) I just couldn’t resist it!