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English: Angry cat

English: Angry cat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of the attorneys I consulted right after Voldemort moved out told me that the emotional part of divorce moves through three stages, not the five that Elizabeth Kubler Ross described.  First you’re sad, then you’re mad, then you just want it over.

I didn’t really believe her.  I couldn’t imagine ever getting over my anger.  I’d processed my sadness for the most part, but I really held on to my mad.

Turns out that lawyer was right.  I occasionally slide back into sadness, because it is sad to end a marriage.  I spend some time visiting my mad, too.  For the most part, I’m just done.

I want to get this over with, due in no small part to the insane expense of a divorce attorney (I’m up to more than $8,000 in less than two months).  I want to move out of limbo and get on with whatever comes next.

The earliest possible date for the final decree is February 1, 2014.  That’s not so long…keep your fingers crossed.  Maybe we can stay civil, hang on to our dignity, and reach a reasonable settlement.  For cryin’ out loud, we live in California: a community property, no fault divorce state.  It really shouldn’t be all that hard.  Or so expensive.

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