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I’m going through menopause. It’s more accurate to say I’m being dragged through menopause kicking and sweating. I’ve been going through menopause for years, which I found out is completely normal and expected.

Well, no one ever told me it would take friggin’ years. Just like no one in Lamaze class ever mentioned that there would be copious amounts of blood for weeks after giving birth. How ‘bout a heads-up on this stuff?

I found some things that helped with the symptoms. I felt better when I was careful to eat very healthy food (lots of fruits and vegetables). I felt better if I exercised daily. I felt better if I meditated.

But none of that is helping much anymore. I have hot flashes and night sweats all the time. I may be short-tempered and hard to live with, but my roommates (aka my teenage kids) are so riddled with adolescent hormones they rarely speak to me, so I’m not sure if it’s me or them.

Getting hormone replacement therapy is damn near impossible. My doctor, a woman the traitor, takes a very dim view of HRT in menopause. It can lead to heart attacks, strokes, blah, blah, blah. Oh please. Unchecked menopause can lead to alcoholism and attempted murder, so really, what’s worse? It would be easier to score heroin than estrogen around here.

Would it actually be even easier to get a medical marijuana prescription?

Yeah, probably.