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In her first semester of high school, as well as her first semester of public school ever, kid #3 made both honor rolls!


I didn’t even know there were two, academic and citizenship, and she made both.  Her success alleviates many of my fears that she’d be completely screwed up by the divorce. It took some time, but she’s found a balance. She’s happier now than at any time in the past three years. And she’s comfortable with next-to-no contact with her father.

I still worry about college, dating, drugs, bullies, and teaching her to drive, but I think that’s just normal maternal fear.

For more years than I care to remember, I stayed in my crappy marriage to a man who bored the hell out me in every possible way because I was afraid of absolutely everything.

Afraid of losing an intact family, albeit with a batsh*t crazy father, but intact.

Afraid of leaving the family home. Or worse, afraid we’d be homeless.

Afraid of being destitute because I gave up my career.

Oh, yeah, afraid of re-entering the job market without a degree or skills, but with a saggy neck.

Afraid of dating/finding a new partner/being single/never having sex again.

Afraid, afraid, afraid.

One of the very best things I’ve learned in the past three post-separation years is that I can face these fears.

I can leave a house I loved and be happy somewhere else.

I can go back to school, always the oldest student in the room, and not only learn but thrive.

I am still the one sane parent my kids need.

Best of all, my kids are centered and focused — on their educations and their dreams. They aren’t irreparably damaged by their flaky father or our divorce.

Sadly, there are no “My kid made Honor Roll neener-neener” bumper stickers at this high school. I’d rock that thing like a mother.