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Oy, I’m tired of trying to get divorced. The last time I heard from my attorney (before today) was in late January. She’d received a call from Mr. Men’s Rights asking about releasing the house proceeds prior to the finalization of the divorce.

Yes, the house closed escrow in October and the proceeds were placed into an attorney’s trust (with my lawyer because I’m the one who kept the escrow officer and my attorney up to date) pending final dissolution of the marriage. So there’s a huge amount of money just sitting there and Voldemort, through his lawyer, wants it.

I worked with my attorney on conditions for the stipulation to release the money early; basically taking care of all the agreed upon expenses before cutting checks to each of us. She sent the paperwork over to opposing counsel and was told they were cool with it. Then she spent a couple of days following up, prodding his lawyer’s office to get it together so the funds could be released.

And I received a $600 bill for legal services. I emailed her immediately and told her to knock that s**t off. How absurd for Voldemort to make this request and have it cost me $600. No.

No more follow-ups. No more reminders. He wants it, he can deal with his attorney to get it.

Which means that nothing happened for two months.

Until today. My attorney called to let me know Mr. Men’s Rights wanted to know when the money would be released. He claims he signed the stipulation weeks ago, blah blah blah. Honestly, who cares when he signed it? Voldemort has to sign and produce some proof that he’s complied with the stipulation.

But it gets weirder, or crazier?, or something. Voldemort hasn’t paid his lawyer bill in months. He owes Mr. Men’s Rights some significant amount of money and Mr. Men’s Rights is clearly gunning for a way to get it. Now that he’s motivated, perhaps there will be some forward movement.

My attorney also called the judge and learned that our file is “almost to the top” of the judge’s stack. No clue if that means the decree will be finalized this week or this month or even this year. Apparently, the divorce backlog is at least six months in San Diego. Plan accordingly.

This seedy underbelly of the judicial system is frightening. I hope there’s a way to fast-track paperwork for domestic violence survivors because I can’t even imagine that nightmare.

I’ve got a few days with no Algebra homework and it’s awesome. Then just seven more weeks and I’ll be done with Algebra…and on to Statistics.

It could be worse. I could still be married to and living with He Who Shall Not Be Named. I’ll take Algebra every day of the week!