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In case you missed it, adultery-for-profit website AshleyMadison.com (tagline: Life is short. Have an affair.) got hacked last month and the hackers threatened to release personal information on more than 37 million users if the company didn’t take down the site. The site stayed up and the data got dumped. In very short order, a number of websites popped up allowing people to input an email address to find out if it appears on the AshleyMadison list.

So, yeah, I typed in Voldemort’s primary email on one of these sites. My palms were sweating, my heart was pounding hard and fast, and my stomach dropped to the floor. I had an anxiety attack on almost the same level as the one I had before our settlement meeting two years ago. WTH? I thought I was over that emotional crap.

His primary email did not show up on the AM list. And I got the message my body was sending. I didn’t try to remember all of his other email addresses. I just got the hell off the site and went on with my day, which included several communications with other betrayed spouses doing the very same thing.

Why would we torture ourselves digging into that cesspool? I know my ex-husband was a lying cheater. Why did I go looking for more proof? I’m actually pretty happy being divorced now. When the fit hit the shan back in 2012, it was like a nuclear explosion in my life and in our family. It sucked and it sucked for longer than I would’ve thought. So why go back?

I don’t have an answer for that. I do, however, have seven words of advice if you find yourself married to a cheater: Life is short. Get a f**king divorce.