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In the past 60 days, both of my credit cards have been used online to make unauthorized purchases. My Visa was used on Groupon to purchase several iPads and some kind of Samsung tablet. My Kohls card was used to purchase a fancy coffeemaker.

Fortunately, I saw the charges within an hour of the purchases (thank God I got emails) and took action. Unfortunately, it seems retailers have taken a Wild West approach to fraud.

Groupon ignored my customer service request and has never responded to my emails. But Visa shut that shit down so the dude in Scranton, Pennsylvania won’t be receiving his stolen iPads.

And I’ll never shop Groupon again as long as I live.

Kohls was even worse. I both called and online chatted to report the fraud. Both reps assured me that the order had been cancelled and I cancelled my charge card as well. Two days later, I got an email that my Kohls order had shipped. Called again. Got read the riot act by the Fraud Department as if I should’ve called their direct line as soon as I saw the unauthorized charge.

Um, no, asshats, I called Customer Service — and they should’ve been trained well enough to transfer me to Fraud. Now there’s an investigation opened and they’ll let me know if they determine the charge was fraudulent in the next 60 days.

Huh, really? I didn’t order a coffeemaker as a gift for Jamison Morrison on Olive Street in Los Angeles, so YEAH, it’s fraud.

I’m not paying that $200 charge.

I’m also never shopping at Kohls.com again in my life.

Seriously, since when is it the consumer’s responsibility to make sure a major retailer’s servers are secure?

Lesson learned.

Use MasterCard or Visa online.

Check your Master Card or Visa charges at least weekly.

Don’t bother with store charge cards. Their liability policies pale in comparison to Visa and MasterCard.

Maybe buy gift cards (with cash) to then use online, which is a pain in the ass and can probably be hacked as well. God knows you can’t use a credit card in an actual store anymore, that data gets hacked and sold to creeps online all the time, too.

Welcome to the holiday shopping season. Watch your friggin’ wallet…wherever it is.